A WISE NETWORKER KNOWS HOW TO TILL THE SOIL...AND WAIT
By Elisabeth & Ivan Misner

Recently, we conducted a survey of more than 2,000 people throughout the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia. The survey asked participants to rank a variety of traits in order of their perceived importance to networking. The survey results were about the same in all four countries, which tells us that the principles of good networking transcend national and cultural boundaries.

Let’s take a look at the top five traits:

1. Follows up on referrals.
This was ranked as the top trait of successful networkers. It’s no secret that if you present opportunities—whether a simple piece of information, a special contact, or a qualified business referral—to someone who consistently fails to follow up successfully, you’ll eventually stop wasting your time with this person.

2. Has a positive attitude.
Not too long ago, we added this value to the formal code of ethics and leadership qualifications for our business referral organization. A consistently negative attitude makes people dislike you and drives away referrals; a positive attitude makes people want to associate and cooperate with you.

3. Is enthusiastic and motivated.
Think about the people you know: Who gets the most referrals? People who show the most motivation, right? It has been said that the best sales characteristic is enthusiasm. To be respected within our networks, we at least need to sell ourselves.

4. Is trustworthy.
When you refer one person to another, you put your reputation on the line. You have to be able to trust your referral partner and be trusted in return. Neither you nor anyone else will refer a contact or valuable information to someone who can’t be trusted to handle it well.

5. Has good listening skills.
Our success as networkers depends on how well we can listen and learn. The faster you and your networking partner learn what you need to know about each other, the faster you’ll establish a valuable relationship. Communicate well—and listen well.

Note that none of these five are traits common to the stereotypical image of networkers as people who aggressively work their network. Strong networkers do, of course, work with their networks—but the highest-rated characteristics are those related to practicing good human relations and maintaining good relationships.

This did not surprise us. We have always held that networking is more about farming than hunting.

The Wise Farmer
In my first job after college [Elisabeth speaking here], I had a boss whom I considered the king of networking. He knew everyone in the local chamber of commerce, was in several networking groups, and was active in his trade association. I began to model my own developing networking skills and style on his.

However, I soon became aware he was not the master networker I had at first thought. Most of his connections were superficial and tenuous. He was not forging the long-lived mutual referral network that I hoped to build.

In the gatherings I attended, I began to notice that different people had different networking styles, some of which were more effective than others. As I studied these styles, I resolved to avoid the least effective and strive to become the best. I even came up with my own pet names for the different kinds of networkers. They reminded me of people and creatures you might see out in the country, around a farm.

The Butterfly
My boss, whose style was the first I became aware of, would flit from group to group—like a butterfly. The Butterfly goes from meeting to meeting, shaking hands, introducing himself to others, handing out lots of business cards, and mailing lots of follow-up notes. He has plenty of energy but doesn’t stand still long enough to learn much about those he meets. He meets many people; by the sheer volume of contacts, he will reap some benefits from networking. However, he doesn’t form the strong ties that grow into healthy, stable referral relationships.

The Impatient Farmer
The Impatient Farmer is more focused than the Butterfly—but not by much. He joins a group, waits for something to happen, then gets tired of waiting and moves on to another group. It’s as though he planted an apple tree in one corner of his farm, and when after a year it doesn’t seem to be bearing fruit, he rips it out of the ground and replants it in another spot. No surprise that it doesn’t yield a crop the next year... and he moves it again.

The Impatient Farmer doesn’t realize that the tree has to stay in one place long enough to establish a healthy root system before it can yield a bounteous harvest. The lesson? Stay put long enough to develop strong relationships. The Impatient Farmer is more focused than the Butterfly—but not by much. He joins a group, waits for something to happen, then gets tired of waiting and moves on to another group. It’s as though he planted an apple tree in one corner of his farm, and when after a year it doesn't seem to be bearing fruit, he rips it out of the ground and replants it in another spot.

The Big Game Hunter
The Big Game Hunter doesn’t want to fool around with the little guys—he’s out for bear. He wants to be introduced to the CEO. What he doesn’t realize is that in the time it takes him to get in to see one big wheel, he could have made dozens of more valuable connections with lesser players.

Every contact has the potential to put you in touch with many terrific prospects, some of which are in a better position to help you than the most powerful executive. Don’t ignore anyone. Get to know everyone in your network.

The Vulture
Watch out for the Vultures! You can usually spot them in time to avoid them. They’re the ones who just hang around looking for whatever prey comes into view and stands still long enough to pounce on: “Hey, I’d love to have ten minutes of your time to show you my fantastic, money-making, quit-your-job-and-retire opportunity!”

Don’t risk turning into a Vulture. When you meet someone, resist the urge to tell her all about yourself; instead, try to find out all you can about her and her business. Ask questions; find common interests. Try to discover something you can do to benefit her. Then you will have a loyal networking partner you can count on for business and referrals in the future.

The Angler
If you have great skill, focus, and patience, you can become an Angler. The Angler goes looking for a particular kind of fish; he knows where it is likely to be found and what kind of bait to use. He knows you can’t just throw your line in any puddle and expect a strike. To be an Angler, you have to plan ahead, research your quarry, look in the right places, and shut out all distractions. Once he’s found the fish he’s looking for, the Angler reels it in patiently and carefully by practicing “Givers gain”—the cultivation of mutual benefits.

The Wise Farmer
I saw quite early that it wouldn’t be very rewarding to be a Butterfly, an Impatient Farmer, or a Big Game Hunter. Nor did I want people to think of me as a Vulture. I also knew I would never make a good Angler; I like to stay active, and if I don’t get a nibble right away, I’m too eager to move to another part of the pond. So I made it my goal to become what I think is the best networker of all: the Wise Farmer.

Good networking is like good farming. You prepare the ground, plant the seeds, add water and fertilizer and time... then reap the harvest. The Wise Farmer knows that the more she puts into the effort—the more she gets to know her contacts and seeks ways to benefit them—the more she will realize in return. She knows that growing a crop takes patience and perseverance; you don’t see the payoff right away, but if you work at it long enough you will be amply rewarded.